curiouser and curiouser

40 notes

it feels like everything’s been decided in advance, that i’m following a path somebody else has alread mapped for me. it doesn’t matter how much i think things over, how much effort i put into it. in fact, the harder i try, the more i lose my sense of who i am. it’s like my identity’s an orbit that i’ve strayed away from, and that really hurts. but more than that, it scares me. just thinking about it makes me flinch.